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In his transactional analysis theory Eric Berne distinguished the personality's ego states - Parent, Adult and Child - from what he called 'the real Self, the one that can move from one ego state to another'.[18] The parent ego consists of borrowed behaviors and feelings from previous caregivers. The parent ego can consist of either the Nurturing or Critical Parent. The Nurturing Parent contains a more loving nature, whereas the Critical (or Prejudiced) Parent consists of preconceived ideas, thoughts, and behaviors learned from previous parents or caregivers. Some of this information can be beneficial, while others are not. The adult ego is otherwise known as our data-processing center. This ego state is able to judge information based on facts, rather than emotions or preconceived beliefs. The child ego is identified as the state that holds all of our memories, emotions, and feelings. People carry this ego state with them all of the time and can reflect back on it at any time. This state can also be divided into two segments: the Free (or Natural) child and the Adapted (and/or Rebellious) child. The Free child represents spontaneity, creativity, and a direct way of perceiving the world. Intimate relationships are able to form due to a person’s contact with their own inner child. The less people are in touch with their inner child, the less they are able to form intimate relationships with other people. The Adapted child is the state in which people are able to comply and respond with parental commands and messages. If a parental command is viewed as too strong and demanding, a child ego can rebel against it, which is why this state can also become the Rebellious Child.[19] Berne considered that 'the feeling of "Self" is a mobile one. It can reside in any of the three ego states at any given moment, and can jump from one to the other as occasion arises'.[20] A person’s tone, gestures, choice of words, posture, and emotional state can portray which ego state they are currently in. By knowing about their own ego states, a person can use each one in particular situations in order to enhance their experience or make new social connections. For example, a person would most likely want to be in a Free Child state along with the Adult state while attending a party in order to maximize the fun they are having while also being able to make wise choices.[19] Transactions is another concept in the transactional theory that relates to how people of a certain ego state interact with people of the same or different ego state at a particular moment. Straight transactions are complementary and result in clear communication among other people. On the contrary, crossed transactions are of diverging ego states that make communication either hard or frustrating. These provoke emotional stress and negative feedback.[19] Nevertheless, Berne saw the Self as the most valuable part of the personality: 'when people get to know each other well, they penetrate into the depths where this real Self resides, and that is the part of the other person they respect and love'[21] |
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